Researcher Hochschild perceives a strong connection between feeling rules and social order. She claims that one way a society attempts to control people is through feeling rules that uphold broad social values and structures. Hochschild notes that there are differences in the feeling rules that families teach children.
Emotion Work: Hochschild asserts that there is an effort generated when we think about what feelings are appropriate in particular situations. Although we do emotion work much of the time, we tend to be most aware of engaging in it when we think our feelings might be inappropriate in specific situations. Protecting Others: We fear we could hurt or upset others. Social and Professional Roles: It may be inappropriate within the social context based on your role.
SubText : Emotional Communication using Smartphones
Ineffective Expressions of Emotions:. Counterfeit Emotional Language : This is language that seems to express emotions but does not actually describe what a person is feeling. Guidelines for Communicating Emotions Clearly. To become more aware of your emotions Identify your emotions: , give mindful attention to your inner self.
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Just as people learn to ignore their feelings, we can teach ourselves to notice and heed them. Choose how to communicate your emotions: Once you know what you feel, you consider how to express your emotions. The choice facing you is whether you want to communicate your emotions to particular people. When an unemotional viewpoint is reached, all parties can calmly and creatively see the whole picture and a consensus view becomes possible.
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Communication succeeds, when negative emotions are stilled, creating the proper environment for sensible solutions. A successful leader knows that it is possible to communicate to a sensible inner self, residing deep within every member of his team. Typically, anger, or fear coped with contrasting situations. Each emotion initiated a dynamic intelligence, which focused the brain of the animal on a single strategy — to fight, or to escape.
All body systems cooperated and the mind shut off conflicting viewpoints. Each emotion morphed the brain into an energetic and focused intelligence, with powerful reasoning abilities. When they take control, emotions limit access exclusively to the knowledge which favors their narrow viewpoints. When a person becomes angry, or fearful, every word used in a discussion recruits contextual links, which favor anger or fear.
During exchanges, the recalcitrant team member does not accept the presence of a problem, or the need to find a solution. He is not listening, but thinking of his reply. You don't face my problems. Better communication skills acknowledge and deal with the emotions barrier. Do not expect immediate results.
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Patience is triggered, when we acknowledge that we cannot immediately change a conflicting viewpoint. A successful leader expects to convince the team member to cooperate. Success is a reward, which motivates the leader. Professor Wolfram Schultz discovered that the mind gathers energy and reduces negative emotions, when we allow ourselves time to be rewarded with success.
Schultz reports that reward oriented behavior is promoted by the release of dopamine by neurons in the approach or avoid system, within the early reptilian part of the human brain.
How to Communicate Your Feelings Without Becoming an Emotional Manipulator
Nature schedules the induction of such added focus and energy, timing it precisely to be sufficient to achieve desired objectives. Increased dopamine strengthens forebrain activity, which brings clarity to objectives and makes a person feel more energetic and elated. Do not expect to convince someone immediately. When you are willing to wait, your mind stills emotions and grants you energy.
You are able to communicate calmly and with energy. If she feels she is not being heard, she will become resentful and frustrated. Frustration, in her inability to present her case, quickly escalates the resentment. Anger triggers harsh words and distortions of facts, which increase the possibility of a failure in communication.
Anger is stilled, when frustration is removed. Allow a painful viewpoint to be voiced.
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That does not weaken one's own position. Become aware of one's own vexation. Self awareness can act to still the drives, which assemble counter arguments and cause interruptions while the other person is talking. A quieter mind will present your viewpoints better. By allowing an angry person to speak long enough, his anger will reduce. His more irrational positions will become subdued and there is greater possibility of a sensible exchange.
At the lowest level, the hypothalamus responds to territorial threats. A patient with severe brain damage, with the hypothalamus intact, was reported to growl or exhibit distress, when approached. Invisible instincts warn people, when they are threatened. An absurd argument that opposes your suggestions for improvement may, in reality, arise from an effort to protect territory. People act to protect their areas of control, their allocation of time resources, their family values and much more. The instinct for territorial protection is not a rational entity.
The arguments, which oppose you may not be reasonable. They are the response to a perceived threat. Such people need to feel safe.
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Direct your communication to ease their fears. Frustration and anger tense eye muscles and raise the pitch of voices. An unwillingness to interact with you may indicate disgust. Turning away may indicate a desire to end the interaction. When urgent matters occupy a person, delicate subjects should not be presented.
Emotional Expression - Paintings - Teal Swan
Wait for an opportunity, when the person looks relaxed and open. Quite often, we ourselves have characteristic tones and body postures, when we open up with a delicate subject. If the person is not receptive, those body signals immediately close off communication channels. When a person is not receptive, be patient.
If your viewpoint is valid and reasonable, persist in calmly presenting it, until the other person's common sense accepts it. Remember that a calm and relaxed presence communicates your views powerfully by stilling the other person's negative emotions. When you decide to to move a piece on a chess board, your motor systems follow through with thousands of muscle contractions, which set the piece exactly in its new location.
Pioneering American psychologist Paul Ekman famously noted that it is now widely accepted that people can reliably discriminate between six different classes of facial expression: happy, sad, angry, surprised, afraid and disgust. This ability is said to transcend cultural or linguistic barriers, therefore these facial expression are not culturally specific, even when taking into account social norms of emotional responses.